How do I?

So lately I've been thinking about all the "wants" I try to accomplish and how I beat myself up when I can't do them. In November I "wanted" to start making jewelry. I had this amazing idea it was something I could do at night or when Kevin was napping it would be a great income and I could stop working. So for about 2 weeks straight I stayed up making jewelry, but then I felt guilty because I was losing out on Ken and I time, I was dedicating jewelry making time instead of house cleaning time, and family time. So I stopped. A year and a half ago I started this blog to help my family and friends (and potentially new ones) keep up with our lives since we are so far away now. A friend of mine from school had a great blog which I loved reading so I figured hey that's a great idea especially since I found out I was pregnant I thought I could share in all the great going ons of our lives. Well, I don't post as much as I would like. Not even a fraction of my ideas end up being blogged about. How do I? How am I able to work full time, keep a clean house, provide time for my husband, have family time, make time for myself and still be able to blog, work out, and so many other things I feel like suffer. I wish I could not work, I wish I could stay at home and make time for all of the things and when I see other women able to do it all I'm amazed. What is it that's suffering in their lives? Ken commented today that he would like to see me stop working by the end of the summer but the truth is I love where we have come financially and I love the opportunities we have because of the extra income. We have been able to pay off debt, take vacations, save money and so much more and I feel that if I stop working and we're not able to do those things any longer...it's my fault. How do I fight this guilt? How do I get over this feeling of needing and wanting to provide more for my family? Which that right there is a loaded question because even though I feel the way I do about working and making money I still feel guilty because of it. I WANT to stay home and spend my days with JUST my son. I love what I do but at the same time I still feel torn. 

Our little Mover

Last Friday Ken and I were playing a simple game of "walk the baby", you know when you sit down facing each other and try to get the baby to walk by passing him back and forth. Well Kevin get's REALLY excited when we try to play this game, so excited his feet start moving so fast it's almost impossible to play but we kept on it. Last Friday was different, Ken had him and it was his turn to walk him to me. Kevin decided to let go of his daddy's hands, stand still and then we watched as our adorable not quite 11 months old baby boy took his first steps. It was an unaided whole step and a half he took that day. I think it wore him out because for the rest of the week we received no other steps. But on Friday, a week later as Kevin and I were at work, he decided to independently walk. He was holding on to the coffee table and circling it like he usually does, I was sitting on the couch watching him and I stuck my hands out just to see what he would do. He LET GO of the table and walked right to me. TWO whole steps. When we got home that night it was like the walking switch had been turned on and he couldn't get enough. Now not only will he let go of our hands to walk to each other but if he is standing holding onto something he will just casually let go and start walking. It's amazing!! We tried catching his walking on video but he seemed to get camera shy, so I hid it and waited. So here is our little mover in action.